Sometimes days are just bad

I had every intention of doing some writing on my next Douglas Abledan novel. I’ve been doing some outlining and know somewhat where I want the story to go. I even know some of the subplots I plan to incorporate. Unfortunately, today was not the day to do it. Sometimes when you have a disability the day is just too painful. That’s the kind of day I had today.

Every inch of this body, which I refuse to call MINE anymore, just hurts. I’m sure many of you have had days like that.  I’m sure many of you have days of utter agony, and trust me when I say I feel for you.  Pain blocks the mind. It intensifies the senses so everything internal and external just hurts

The character in my Blind Traveler novels, Douglas Abledan, has days like that too. He pushes through them as best he can to be sure, but there are just days when he doesn’t want to do anything. Days when he just can’t. From a personal perspective I can’t tell if blindness physically is painful, though I suspect aspects of it can be.  I’ve not asked any of my resources if they experience physical pain, though I do know they have many days of emotional and psychic pain, days they just want to curl up.

But, here’s the thing, in some ways I suspect society EXPECTS people with disabilities to just curl up and give up. We do in some respects live in a paternalistic society where people are supposed to take care of those they deem in need of taking care of. I may be wrong about this. I may be saying this because of how I feel today. I may be speaking out of depression and pain. But, if I am right, the point is….we CAN’T!

It’s not that we have to show the world we are better than the others, but it is that we have to show we are all equal to the task of living life to the best we can, no matter our physical, emotional, or psychic condition..



Filed under Life

2 responses to “Sometimes days are just bad

  1. Several years ago I wrote a story with a blind character. I have had several blind friends and I talked to them, but I wanted to know a little bit more about how it would feel to be without sight. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I asked some questions of a nurse. She suggested that I go blind for a few days.

    I was given a mask that covered my eyes. It allowed minimal light, but I wore it for three days. It was grueling. It was terrifying, and i will admit it was traumatic. Now, I realize that if a person has always been blind, they have adjusted, but those three days were horrifying. I ended up bruised and battered because of bumping into things, falling down, walking into walls,etc. I did work with a lady who tried to explain to me how to use the cane, and my other senses, but I can tel you that it was the worst thing I have ever gone through and I can’t imagine living ever day like that, whether I was used to it or not.

    Karen Syed

  2. Sometimes I speak to physical therapy students and they tell me that an assignment they’re often given is to “take on” a disability for a day or two. I’m told they learn a great deal from the experience. I had a similar experience when I had eye surgery a few years ago. Bumped into everything. Banged myself up pretty nicely. When I was helping my sensei develop a martial arts system for wheelchair users I had to help him understand the need to ‘deaden’ his legs so he wouldn’t rely on them for balance while performing a move. It is VERY hard to learn to be disabled!!!

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